Posted by: mchleen | April 12, 2010

Death and taxes…

Benji Franklin said it – that “…in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”  Ain’t that the truth?  Well, and that I will have to put my foot in my mouth no less than 3x/week.

April 15th is Tax Day!  Aye-yi-yi!!  Sound the alarms!

We filed early – electronically and via TurboTax (sweet sweet lovely software that you are) – and were fortunate to receive a refund.  Probably because we’re such good little doobies (not.).  Actually, I sort of hate that though, because I know that I’m giving an interest-free loan to a government that already is all spendy-spendy-spendy…oh and we need even more money…TAXES!

ANYWHO…what was my point?

Oh yes.  If you live near me – the McDonald’s on Duke Street (near the Home Depot) just reopened after a renovation.  And on April 15, for Tax Day, they are offering 49¢ hamburgers and 59¢ cheeseburgers.

You can eat your feelings.  Taxes got you down?  A McDonald’s burger can help that.

Posted by: mchleen | March 31, 2010

Red hot Tinkerbell slippers. Thanks Target!

So.  The Law of Target* proves correct.  However! Let it be noted that I found these sweet honey house traipsers on clearance for just $1.48.  Red, gold sparkle, pompoms!

The daughter covets them, I feel frisky, and they have the added benefit of built-in cat toy. Plus three points: me.

Unfortunately the cats are not declawed.  Minus one point: me.

Also unfortunate?  How chunky this photo makes my calves look.  Minus two points: me.

We’ll call it a break-even.  A keeper at $1.48.

*  You will always spend more than you intended.  Go in for toothbrushes and toothpaste?  Come out with that plus some Clorox wipes, J&J Lavender Baby Oil, Aveeno body cream, two basic tank tops, Easter candy, a terrific idea to spend $180 later on a garden bench, and slippers!

Posted by: mchleen | March 31, 2010

14K gold Tunnel of Love

The Jewelry Exchange has the audacity to advertise the Tunnel of Love bracelet, on sale now at their Bethesda location.  Yes, you read that correctly.

The Tunnel of Love bracelet. Someone needs to fire their advertising firm stat. What does it look like, you ask?  Does it matter?  It’s called the Tunnel of Love bracelet for chrissakes! They should include a bottle of Purell with every sale.

There.  Now don’t you feel dirty?

Posted by: mchleen | March 31, 2010

I’m sorry but(t)…

I saw a commercial last night as I was drifting off for Harold Penner’s Man of Fashion store here in the D.C. area.  And man-oh-man if it didn’t bring back some fond memories of SNL’s Don Banks’ Kings of Comedy Suits skit with Bernie Mac.  (the 4/5/03 video of which I very regretfully – more for my benefit than yours – cannot locate, for the life of me!)

Most of it isn’t really all that awful but some of it?  Wowz. Blue alligator two-tone dress shoes?  3-piece suit in primary colors?  Dress suits in denim with orange stitching?  And what woman couldn’t resist those jeans pictured up there?

I just couldn’t let it go by without a chuckle.

Posted by: mchleen | March 31, 2010

Do you love bacon? And vodka?

When my brother hears about this he’s going to looooose it.  There’ll just be the sound of squealing tires and a puff of smoke as he tears outta’ there to go buy this.

Bakon Vodka!

Suggested drinks:  Bacon Mary, Proscuitto-Wrapped Melon, Choco-bacontini…it boggles the mind.

[A special thanks to Kathee F. for the tipoff!]

Posted by: mchleen | March 30, 2010

Pimp my food!

Everybody knows that if you want to impress your homies it’s not just about the chains, the grillz, or the tight whip.

It’s especially about your bling.  So pimp your food. YES YOU CAN!

Now kick it all up in your hizzle with that cup there.  Perhaps a little Cristal?  That’s my shit.  Fo’ shizzle!

Posted by: mchleen | March 15, 2010

Emerging from **blink, blink** hibernation

PHEW! Like wow. Hello there! It has been a loooooong time since I’ve been around these here parts.

I tend to go a bit wobbly in the head in conjunction with the holiday season. What can I say? I’m easily overwhelmed I suppose. And top that off with a healthy dollop of I-hate-winter-itis, and there you have it: M.I.A.

Seriously though, I could completely do without winter if it weren’t for snow. Snow = skiing…and I haven’t got a bigger love that that, so I accept the winter in exchange for skiing. But that’s it. Winter, no offense, but I really dislike you. Alot.

And you know what else? Winter makes me all hibernatey. So between the holidays and the lack of outdoor activity I’ve packed on a few pounds and lost a little muscle tone. Just in time to head to sunny Florida where I’ll have to bare my sluggish pasty self poolside! The upside is that I will be able to shade myself with my flabby triceps, the downside being that I’ll need a small cart to support the flabby a** I’ll be dragging behind me.

Posted by: mchleen | March 12, 2010

Healthcare reform is necessary. But how?

If ever there was a time to not shoot the messenger then this is that time.

As a former healthcare-subsidized employee and now a dependent of the same, I am fortunate that I’ve never really felt the pinch of the healthcare system. To the contrary it has been, for me, a quite mutually beneficial system. I find it almost impossible to formulate how it needs reform – from a personal perspective. I am not a monster though. I know that there are fellow Americans that need and deserve more than they are recieving…more than they can afford.

But truth be told and much to my shame, I live inside the DC Beltway; I feel like I should be more informed, but I almost consciously avoid all the chatter from around here or I feel that I would be consumed. How about you? Are you truly informed or only emotionaly informed? Have you read the proposed bills or only taken the Cliffs Notes offered to you by media outlets? It actually takes alot of work and time to sift through it all. And in the end our representatives often end up bargaining away alot of their platforms in compromises.

What’s our beef, really? (Good Lord, I cannot WAIT to see how I get flamed for this post!!)

I just say this: No system is ever perfect. Time and circumstances change and by association so should our culture and laws. We do need change but let’s take our time, talk it out, pinpoint the issues and come to well-thought out resolutions. Complete and immediate overhaul will only hobble us in the long run; just as any snap decision in life usually does. Our government is large, our country is even bigger and more diverse, and our collective American hearts are huge. We are unable to stand by and watch others suffer needlessly. But let’s take a breath and give this a gander… Let’s take a look around us at other systems and how they benefit and detriment their citizens.

Canada and the US at one time had very similar systems, but in the 1960’s/70’s Canada reformed. We spend approximately twice as much as they do per capita per year and the US government ultimaltely spends more on healthcare (public and private). We are the gold standard of care in the world; in treatment AND research. You want good care? Come here. But our government only finances about half of that care, while Canada finances approximately 70%. What does that mean? If you want subsidized care, you will pay for it. TAXES. Ewwww. Yeah I said it. Oh and federal rules about use, which are much tougher to modify than privatized industry.

I’m not against a slight increase in taxes for the benefit of the general good but let’s be informed. This would mean a major shift in our culture and one from which we will not be able to backtrack (Social Security, Medicare?) And with subsidization, comes HMO-like restraint. We’ve all heard the horror stories, I don’t need to tell you. And I’ve seen first hand the withholding of standards of care until advanced stages of disease in order to reduce demand on the system. Not to be cryptic, but remember: nothing in life is free.

There is much good possible out there, but let’s do it properly and not chop ourselves off at the knees in our haste to make right.

Posted by: mchleen | January 4, 2010

She’s electric!

Footie pajamas may seem harmless but they are not.  They are fleece death traps.

Picture if you will, an inpenetrable electrical field surrounding my daughter. But now recognize that the origination of this dire force is her simple and seemingly benign choice of sleepwear.

I cannot touch her or kiss her without receiving a healthy crackling zap for all my care. Talk about disincentives…

You know what’s neat though? Bedtime. Drag a fleece blanket up over some footie pajamas in a dark room and you get a show of bright blue sparks worthy of most July 4th displays!

Now, if I kept my daughter damp while she shuffled around in her footies we’d be OK but something tells me that’d go over like a lead balloon.

So in the meantime I wince and grimace as I tentatively reach out to her with one finger, or make sure that I’m grounded first before kissing her cheek.

I’m also considering putting her to work as an alternative energy source around the house.

Posted by: mchleen | January 3, 2010

The pitfalls of Jersey Shore

You know what tough is?  I do.

Watching a marathon of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” with a bunch of Italians and trying not to say anything that will inadvertently catch you some trouble Snooki-style.  I think Snooki may have an even better idea of what tough is though.  Seriously?…holy sh*t!


Ooouuuuuchhhh!!  SO NOT OK.  I can’t imagine how many hits that guy must have out on him now.  That’s a freaking psychopath straight up yo.  He better have headed straight from the poke to his nearest Barnes and Noble for a page out of Sammy “The Bull” Gravano’s playbook.

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »