Posted by: mchleen | September 14, 2009

!@#$%&* Monday… !@#$%&* you.

Today can only get better.  It’s 9:45am and this is my day thus far:

  • Ava wakes at 3:30am after I foolishly went to bed late at 11pm.  Feeling much less than bushy-tailed as I roll out of bed to start the morning.  Grrrrrr.  Drive Ang to train station while I’m still in PJs.  Ava no shoes.
  • Early morning sunglare blinding my bleary crusty morning eyes.  Lower car visor.  Garage door opener lands firmly and squarely on my wrist.  !@#$%&* OUCH.
  • Take my sweet $10-spot that Ang gifted me this morning to treat Ava and myself to McDonald’s (or Old MacDonald’s as she calls it).  Total for order at the drive-thru is $4.45; I get $0.55 back.  Must pull over and wait 5 minutes to be ferried my $5.  I am NOT going in there looking like this.
  • Return home, pull in driveway, garage door does not open.  Garage door opener is dead.  Garage door is locked without functional opener.  Is it a battery or did my now bruised/broken wrist responsible?  Consider crying.
  • Front door is security chained, back door is barricaded.  No access.  My unwashed, ungroomed, PJ’d appearance resembles the Creature From the Black Lagoon but I must now leave the cover of my car to resolve this issue.  Looking like this.  Public will most likely run screaming.
  • Home Depot = outer ring of Hell.  Fitting as I look like a hellbeast.  Purchase a new 9 volt battery to cover possible battery issue; also purchase new garage door opener just in case – no way I’m coming back here looking like this, further making a spectacle of myself.  Did you know that a stupiddinkybasic garage door opener costs minimum $33?  What kind of big box store rape is this?  My wallet is sore.
  • Apparently the broken garage door opener’s assault on my wrist shifted the sliding code key buttons inside just enough so that I cannot ascertain what the code is, should I need it.  If it’s not a battery issue I cannot program the new opener and will still be locked out.  FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
  • THANK GOD.  It’s a battery issue.  I’m in.  Score today is now Michaeleen: 1, World Fuckery: 8.

Game not over.

  • Now to call plumbers for quotes on our basement toilet.  Rugrat guerilla tactics have lodged a flashing sparkle ball in the toilet that is unrecoverable by either determined, highly-motivated husband or experienced, handyman father.  Toilet is currently disconnected and in repose in the shower stall.  Crap.  Haha – actually not.

They do not make a bottle of wine big enough to cancel out today.  But you can’t call me a quitter – I’ll try to find it.



  1. go buy a lottery ticket

  2. Why bother with wine on a crap day like this. Go for the hard stuff.

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