I came across this in an email I get from Daily Candy (you should subscribe if you live in an area that they cover – lots of good stuff!). Apparently Lemony Snicket has just come out with a new musical whodunit book and CD entitled The Composer is Dead. I haven’t seen/heard it yet so I can’t say anything about that – but what I wanted to share with you was the secrets that Lemony Snicket offered to Daily Candy for telling a riveting bedtime story. PRICELESS!
1. Ask your child what the title should be. This stalls for time and spreads the blame if the story’s no good.
2. Name the villains after people who wronged you in high school.
3. When you get stuck, remember Raymond Chandler’s advice: “When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns.” The bedtime equivalent is a clumsy talking animal holding a tray of cream pies.
4. At the end of the story, all of the characters should be very, very tired.
5. Don’t bring your cocktail, because you might accidentally leave it and wake your child when you sneak back to retrieve it. Alternately, you may forget about it entirely and three days later someone will find a warm martini on your child’s dresser.
(Note: This has never, ever, ever happened to him.)
[Mmmhmm…me neither. And if you’ve got white gloves, I’ve got a ketchup popsicle for you!]