Posted by: mchleen | February 19, 2009

Old flames – carrying the torch.

old flameFacebook has put me back in touch with so many of you from my past. 

We’ve all moved on with our lives, but I can’t help but still view you as you were when we knew each other.  I wonder if we still carry the torch for each other, if we remember, or if our perceptions have changed.  I’ve learned that we’ve all matured, dealing with what Life has thrown in our laps, what we’ve chosen.  I don’t know you anymore but I would like to.  Where are you?  Who are you?  I cherish you – as pieces to the puzzle of my past, as parts of knowing Life better, as irreplaceable gems in memory, as formative moments, as what has made our history.

I moved to RI to begin the 4th grade.  There was a boy that I met on that first day of class with Mrs. Thayer (we played with Sarah Wrap on the forced-air heater) for whom I held a crush for all of my Portsmouth years, although he never knew.  There are girlfriends who were my nearest (we shared post/mid-cross country run breaks at her house for Oprah), and most importantly my dearest (sobbing in bathrooms over broken hearts and sneaking off for forbidden nights in Newport).  There was a boyfriend, who was so much more, in college that I’ll never-ever forget.

I went to college in VA to escape “small town” – but now I can’t believe I thought anything other than how wonderful it is.  All I want to do is be back in the Aquidneck Island/Narragansett/Sakonnett/Portsmouth/Newport mentality.  I learned how to be an adult in college.  Hard lesssons.  But learned well – lessons that solidified who I am and who I will be.  For this I cherish those who participated, saved me and cared for me.

You grow older, life becomes more complicated.  History backs up on you.  I was so naive not understand that with age comes wisdom.  I thought that older people were just stodgy.  We live with triumphs and regrets and they make us the characters we are today.

Don’t live with regret.  Be open and honest and welcome Life as it serves itself to you.  Move forward.  We have so much to learn.  And I love you still – in every way.  I haven’t forgotten anything.



  1. here’s me being open and honest : YOU are a hero in my history. You have helped shape me, inspire me, whisper little kitchen ideas in my ear even when you are 3000 miles away. (ie, the chopped green onion garnish atop our turkey breasts this evening and a vodka something-or-another served fancy in martini glasses) But if you could, please do forget how I threw up all over your basement on your 30th birthday. thanks love.

  2. What a wonderful post. It’s been strange reconnecting with so many people from my past. I’ve actually gotten to know several people better than I ever did while we were at school together, and I’m so glad I’ve found everyone again. 🙂

  3. Funny how I share your sentiments. Most of what I used to be ashamed of about things I couldn’t control NOW are the very things I cherish and am trying to recreate for my family. Man, I wish wisdom came a little sooner. But then, it wouldn’t be so sweet… I look forward to gaining much more and I hope you keep writing about yours so I can feel at peace. Miss your smiling face!

  4. Love your blog! Love this message in particular! Love (and MISS) you!!

  5. to clarify… I used to be kinda slow about admitting I was from an itty bitty place in MS, but now I wish I could find a small town to rear my kids in. No strange issues I couldn’t control, just where I was from, thick southern D R A W L, etc. the first comment sounded so VAGUE when I reread it! ;-D

  6. titties

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